tantramar

Smuggling A Family Across The Border

I saw this Emirate family in Dubai and couldn’t help taking them into my care. They were £1.30 after all. In Dubai for £1.30 you can buy ten small bottles of water or one third of a pint of beer. Crazy.

Tips On Flying

Fly Emirates, they are brilliant. All the drinks are free in economy – who does that? There is a sweet controller in the back of the seat in front of you. With it you can play computer games, make phones calls (if you’re rich) and select films (100+ titles) to watch whenever you like. You can also pause the films to take that all so essential toilet brake after nine Gin & Tonics. They also give you these cute stickers to put on your seat to inform the cabin crew of your feeding requirements. I‘ve never had such good service on a 7hr flight.

Goodbye Dubai

I say goodbye to Dubayy (Arabic spelling) today, I’ll miss ya…kinda.

I Hope You Have A Good Lawyer

The only question is who’s gonna sue this gym first, the state of New York or Apple computers.

Safety First

As it’s widely known there is a great deal of construction going on in Dubai. It’s nice to see they have such a down to earth point of view on safety.

Old Vs New

This is the perfect example of what’s wrong with Dubai. They have these beautiful old boats (which I think are converted Dhows) that are used as stationary restaurants. Then they go and build new ones like this one below. It looks like an abandoned set piece from a Jean-Claude Van Damme film. They abandon the old for the ultra new. The old is loaded with charm, atmosphere and style and the new is severely lacking.

Supreme HQ In Dubai

I walked past the headquarters of Supreme today, sadly I think they had gone to prayer.

Flying Horse Rice

If you’re gonna name your rice pick a name that’s nothing to do with rice. Flying Horse gets my vote.

Not Again

OK, I’m willing to concede to the fact that the shower is a good way of ‘cleaning’ yourself. But seriously, a jug? That’s a lousy idea, plus you still need towels. Who wants to walk round damp for hours? That would be nasty. This was in a Pakistani restaurant in Kamara in Dubai. Good food, bad toilets.

Barbie Is Ready To Order

This was outside a restaurant in Dubai. It’s just place nuts. Does anyone over five years old think this is a good idea?

Erm…Help

Toilet roll is so over rated. A shower has got to be a more practical way to erm, clean yourself. Or, this is stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. C’mon this is a public toilet, does everyone in Dubai carry a towel around with them?

Denied!

Dubai claims to be one of the most tolerant countries in the world. Arabs drink, cultures mix etc etc. But should you want to see a website that is deemed unsuitable then your luck is out! This is a site that I look at each week, it’s an art blog – www.vvork.com. “You’re free to do anything you like…as long as we deem it appropriate.”

Water Torture

I saw this in a shopping mall (in Dubai) today. You lie in it and then get a pummelling by some rotating brushes. Yes, that’s right a human car wash. You don’t actually get wet though there’s a layer of plastic between you and the brushes. So it’s like going in a car wash wearing a bin bag…

There was a girl in it at one point but I was never going to get away with taking a picture.

Maid Up

Ok so what’s up with this then? Do the maids in Dubai really look like this? I hope not cause I’m running for the hills if they do.

Pay close attention to her legs they don’t come out the middle of her body. Either she has a massive butt or she’s deformed.  I'm feeling the little hat too.

Warm Welcome In Dubai

So I come into my hotel room in Dubai and the TV is on – presumably left on by housekeeping. This is on the screen – I’m not even kidding. The bell hop rushed to turn it off but I stopped him and they do what you say here, which is nice.